Early Morning Thoughts and a Cup of Coffee

I like to rise early and enjoy a cup of coffee, sit in the quiet before my day begins and the hustle of life kicks into high gear.  I have much in my head these days, and ponder life and meaning often.  Cancer can do that to you I guess, redirect your focus, change your priorities and cause you to question everything about your life. 

I wish my coffee looked this pretty every morning!
I wish my coffee looked this pretty every morning!

I love life, always have and I relish in the little moments. I love to stop and catch a sunrise in the morning, the first light of day can be absolutely amazing and I’m thankful for every one I get to see. 

Sunrise

I love to watch my children experience something for the first time, there is no greater gift than their joy in those moments.  I love the kid’s bedtime routines, even when they last for 30 minutes.  It’s prayers, laughter, recaps of the day, lots of hugs and kisses. 

My favorite with Jason started with the book, Guess How Much I love you.  Instead of just saying, “I love you to the moon and back.” like they do, ours continues with seeing how many planets we can circle and back.

“I love you all the way to Pluto, around Saturn and around Jupiter and back to your heart and my heart.”  says Jason.

This is my favorite and I say, “Wow!  That’s a lot of love and I think you’ve won this round.”

With boys everything’s a competition, and I’ve found that he won’t stop until he thinks he’s won, so after multiple versions of I love you’s, I concede and he’s glowing with pride.  He’s out done mom on the love-a-meter again.  How blessed am I that we have these little moments together to remember laced in our brains for when we need them most?

I sit here this morning with my coffee still trying to digest the fact that I’m a cancer patient now.  How foreign it sounds to me still.  My diagnosis is much more promising than many.  It makes me sad sometimes because I didn’t realize how many people are battling this dreaded disease until it affected me.  My heart aches for them as much as it does for me and my family.  Cancer is an unwelcome intrusion to life, and it’s like rolling the dice not knowing what the outcome will ultimately be.

I’ve always lived in ‘little moments’ and maybe that’s what I need to do as I navigate this new journey.  I need to document everyday ‘little moments’ to hold on to when life gets difficult.  Ones to remember, ones to share, ones to remind my family when the going gets tough.  At the end of the day, that’s what we need to hold on to, not the things that made us angry, or the people that hurt our feelings, or the customer service person that wasn’t very customer friendly. 

What cancer has made me realize more profoundly than anything else ever would have, is that everyone is fighting a battle and needs our kindness, regardless of how they’re reacting.  A calm demeanor with kind words can change the course of anyone’s day.  When I want to rip somebody’s head off for treating me recklessly, I try to take a deep breath first, and remember that I may not know anything about what happened to them before they encountered me today, and just maybe all they need is someone to treat them with a little warmth and love, even when it’s hard to do.  Regardless of whether it has any affect in the moment doesn’t really matter. What matters is how you react; because when you walk away, you will be at peace about the situation because you handled it with grace, and you might just leave a positive impression in the process. 

My Kitty Girl helping me write and wanting breakfast.
My Kitty Girl helping me write and wanting breakfast.

We can’t control other’s reactions, but we can control ourselves and how we respond to those around us.  I think this is the most important thing we can do for ourselves, control how we react.  When we respond to others in a loving, kind way, we leave a positive impression behind, and that’s how we all want others to see and remember us.

So, I’m pondering being kind this morning and my inspiration came from this blog, http://www.mundanefaithfulness.com/home/2015/3/11/kindness-matters .  It’s another beautiful, sad, inspiring cancer story that has left a mark on me in reading it.

I hope you take time today to relish in your ‘little moments’ and enjoy the day as if it might be your last.  Breathe it in deeply, soak up the love around you, and may you find peace in your journey this day. 

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